Billy's Film Reviews.

A series of film reviews and opinion pieces from a film student and all round movie lover! Happy reading!

Annie – 2015

annie-final-posterWe must accept it, it’s the world we live in. A world in which profit is the end game, and creative ideas are pushed aside. I like to think that there is a parallel universe in which Hollywood executives are kind, welcoming and creatively focused, but I’ve said all there is to say about the constraining industry of today, and I understand there isn’t much I can do about it.
This is precisely why we have been treated to Will Gluck’s “Annie”; the most unnecessary remake in quite some time. Re-imaginings are reboots are commonplace now, but I for one don’t take kindly to whoever green-lit this piece of Glucking tripe!

I don’t want to discuss this catastrophe in explicit detail, simply because I feel it will give the film some sort of satisfaction, even if the review is extremely poor.
We all know the story of “Annie”, and it’s more or less the same, except it’s been ‘modernised’. We now have a multibillionaire phone company executive, foster children and gratuitous amounts or poorly auto-tuned songs.
So basically, this 2014 remake has completely butchered everything that was so great about the original in the process of freshening it up.

'Annie' Film SetI must state that I have only seen the original once, but even my very weak, foggy memories of that one afternoon in year 8 bring me a lot more joy than my most recent recollections of excruciating trauma.
If not for the horrendous efforts from Cameron Diaz, or the scattered structure of the film in general, the auto-tuned modern versions of the soundtrack are enough to make you shake your head in disbelief, cringe with embarrassment and shield your ears in agony!
Not only are the tunes pathetic, the lip-syncing is so painfully atrocious, the aforementioned reactions to the overall film are extended tenfold after the first song! 

I’ll end it there. I simply cannot go on. If you’re smart, you’ll avoid this like an illness, for that is exactly what it is. Unnecessary remakes are the latest cinematic plague, sweeping our screens with tacky, cringeworthy writing, structure and all-round execution, but hey, it’s 2015!
What a difference a couple of days make. Here I was praising “Birdman” for it’s creative bravery and perfect end-result and before the elated hangover wore off, “Annie” gives me a headache that won’t escape me for a good fortnight!

Celebrity Sightings In New York City - December 2, 2013I guess a minor positive from the film is the performance of lead Quvenzhańe Wallis. She is actually a very gifted actor with a promising future ahead of her, plus she’s very cute!
Apart form her efforts and the sporadic passion shown by Jamie Foxx, everybody can be simply described as embarrassing, especially Diaz…

I must end this review by saying I didn’t voluntarily choose to see “Annie”. But following excessive excitement from some friends of mine, I reluctantly accepted to join. “Annie” is awful, don’t see it and remember, I am full of regret for enduring it.

But hey, you do anything for your friends!

0.5/5

4 comments on “Annie – 2015

  1. sokyratis555
    December 31, 2014

    Come on, it was not as made as you made it out. It’s not setting out to change the world it’s a musical. Sure it’s more Hairspray than Chicago, but it’s aimed at kids, plus the soundtrack was put together by Sia, so that’s a plus

    • wmsteele
      January 1, 2015

      Nope. It’s garbage. Sorry.
      Happy New Year!

  2. Tristan
    March 3, 2016

    Completely agree, great review of a pretty pathetic movie – even Rose Byrne who is normally worth watching didn’t cut the mustard. Unfortunately though my kids and my parents loved it and laughed out loud in a crowded country cinema – now that’s both cute (kids) and cringeworthy(parents)! Anyway congratulations on the site – like it and look forward to reading a few more of your reviews.

    • wmsteele
      March 3, 2016

      Thank you very much for the kind words, Tristan, much appreciated!
      And yes, my sympathies go out to you as you debate against both young and old about what is one of the worst films ever made. I’m with you on that one all the way!
      All the best.

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